"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
