I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize