I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
