hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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