oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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