is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
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So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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