i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
