Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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