CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
