Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
