Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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