The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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