Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm bleeding and have questions
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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