Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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