i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
