His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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