Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
