I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
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Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize