Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
