HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just pee around me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
