why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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