yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
