why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize