don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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