He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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