How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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