In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
