He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
