To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
