5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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