i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Everyone says I win the strip club
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
