please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
