trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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