I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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