last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
