i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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