omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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