Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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