Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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