Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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