margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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