That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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