I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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