i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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