I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
