they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
