I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
