I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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