Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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