the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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