i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
