i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
