i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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