direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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