Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize