I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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