Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
