What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
